out of focused truths.

all. some. nothing.
a hung head is all that stands in view, with drops of exceedingly full toxin filled tears hitting the ground slowly. i can't breathe.
with the knowings of a new, uphill, dagger throwing battle up ahead, to the other side, i know i have to pull through, to the end.
as each blade once again aims for the heart, it has succeeded. i lay upon the slanted hill in midst of a summers night, calling to be just lifted away from here. the pains in which finally subside into the rims of my soul have harden.. and put to a daily target of awakened reminders.
you will find this body, but you won't find what lies inside of it, anymore.
because everything that has ever been placed in her, is vanished, and stripped.
a attempt to gather all the pieces that have fallen to the ground, ends up astray because she is gone.
taken to a pit of skin skimming poisons, with the odor coiling into her system, hour by hour she is left dry and loose of any feeling.
i see that it has me here alone, shaking, all without warning.
i need to go to the bottom of the dark lake, that was once clear.
i need to be taken to the lowest limits and stapled there,
robbed of all my abilities, and left there to be forgotten on a rock.
i am now where i belong, in solitude, striving for something that does not follow, nor fits with who i am.
the need to cope with this abandonment, this shut out, has only given me one option.
i can not give anymore of myself, i can not speak anymore words, i can not live anymore seconds.
you have told me the words, i intake them into me.
the option you left me with, is what shades over my life from now on.
it is impossible to try and change them.
because i have, i have tried to voice all i needed to. i am dry. you just cant take it,
now you've let me go,
and i have to let you go because of that.
i can not kill myself any longer over the facts of what i have done to you.
the mask is placed over me now, i will not be here to cause anymore pain upon you,
i am done, for you.
the everlasting, forever candle we lit together at the start, has withered downward...
it has reached the last speck of the black wick, last night.
you took a blow at it,
i could not stop you.
so i took the burnt out candle, and i walked away.
just for you, once again.
as you say, thank you.
i can not bring back this light, i grieve in the facts of what i have in my hand.
so i can not reply.
all i did was just take the first step,
away.
goodbye, i am gone.

a tied knot.

with a frame of gold circles.
a carved shape that timelessly borders our structured paths supplies me with guidance.
placing my fingers in the cracks and ridges of each edged out space has me believing whats present.
with the simple designs of swirls and curves it travels my imagination to you.
thinking back to the peaks of wonders, its those that made me bottle up every second into my mind.
with a fragrance of autumns air inflating my lungs, the image it effortlessly makes in my heart is that of a open road, with a single line of mixed coloured leaves cutting through the middle, telling me to trust it and trust where it leads to.
this line will take me to the future, and to the huge hopes i have for it.
we must trust it to be bigger, better and brighter.
the hunger for a day where it all just pieces together is what i strive towards everyday.
the satisfaction of everything just fitting, mending and melting as one single shape that i can grab a hold is what will power me through.
but the piece i already have fitted is you, and what you bring, which is a staple to my existence.
something that doesn't skip through the waters and then disappears.
a tree that doesn't get cut down but that is forever placed in my life.
one that will always be by my side to conquer this world, no matter what.
this unbreakable bond between a two is rare,
a thank you is not said enough to a masterpiece that has been painted so perfectly...
i owe you a brush to aid in turning your imagination into reality.
i owe you a easel to support all of your leaps of faith.
i owe you a blank canvas to have a fresh start, at leaving your inspirations to a fate.
so take what i can supply and create whatever you feel.
cause the endless shooting stars that i see in your sky are ones that
need to be wished upon, or else it all goes to waste.
you are a gift.
a gift to me.
so with this secure bundle of magic we have spread surrounding us,
lets share it, share this knot we've made
and,
watch it grow into a circle, that continues to always expand, and cycle around
cause boy don't we know its here to stay...
because its forever tied.

let it flow.

a slow falling leaf.
with the sun lite grass covering what lies beneath, a enticing unknown draws me in.
as the pale blue skies open up to gently relieve my untouched surface, it forces my eyelids to come to a pause.
leaving all my trust to my sense of feeling,
at the left side of my lower body... a tiny tickle of something has me feeling consumed, its movement is even and gentle.
in a seconds time its changed, im changed. now under the spotlights of the shaded clouds a turnover into shivering sheets of unpredictability becomes clear, its all at a loss of comforted reliabilities and importance's.
a confusion of what just happened strikes my silent thought, the reality of constant alteration travels down my arm into my fingers, as i pull at the grass that was once warm i toss it into the air...
the wind catches it and showers it over my face.
and as i let my mind slip into a light oblivion, all of time freezes.
i was forgetting what it was to just let go.
i was losing what it was to be expected.
i was shedding what it was to worry.
i was feeling what it was to stop.
the point where i have come to has left me with the staples of how to live,
i need not to be hung on the branches of whats has been lived, rather swing through
all thats to come with lifeless doubt.
and slowly as i am awaken to be under the streaming sun... i realize
that in this place i was in of discovery
i can be nothing but compared to,
a leaf.

one that can't be changed.

having a hand to hold.
a up pace tempo awakens my intentions, i'm soon there to be at your side.
your line of scattered specks splits me into two. the lift when we are present takes me into the winds ease, everything is just simple.
a ongoing siren that attracts my eye can never be hidden.
the cushion you supply me has me in a undeniable consistency, and when i think of the connection that as evolved in us it has me feeling lucky.
but when i see the exhaust, and the strain in you it knocks me into a cage where all of my impurities lie, and it brings me into that cycle of the bashing words fucked over, hurt.... and broke.
i dont know how i bared the cord that i extended latching onto you and still having taken a hold it as every single blade has persistently frayed the line.
when i see a candle sway as the air moves through it, i get lost in the power it holds, the heat of the flame blinds me as i am guided to my ideal... the questions i ask all sprout from my wants.
the never ending imagination i have will never be held back,
a try to bring you into that image will never be stopped,
as you may attempt to go astray,
i cant let that be okay.
so bare with this hand,
as i bring you to the sand...

a mosaic of stones.

thanks for the dishonesty.
thanks for the attempt.
thanks for the ride.
thanks for the fights.
thanks for the willingness.
thanks for the days.
thanks for the nights.
thanks for the support.
thanks for the letdown.
thanks for the growth...

and with the treading of holding onto this gift for all times comes a great deal of scars that will forever be engraved in my heart.
and for each word that's let out of my mouth...
i mean every single sound.

the escape.

for all you've made me feel.
a feeling of dryness consumes my throat and has guided me to the harshness's of what has happened.
a crack and a shatter tightens the back of my neck, it has me at an unease stature, i fight to build the stones that will lead me to improvement, but the unpredictable spread of oil masks the stones it then shakes my attempt and crumbles it.
a look of surrender fills my face.
i need for something to overcome me as the darts in eyes turn into the facts. i'm once again lost, and left to run.
i take cover in the blankets, where i lay my head against the unsteady wood and rely on the inevitable's of a new tomorrow.
i have departed the minutes of peace, where i was in the rawest form of living, where i would run my eyes along the rippleless lake till i would reach the skirts of the arching trees, the dark lake reflected sky is blocked by the takeover of translucidus clouds, with the beams of light striking the sparkle in all fights it has my attention, i am no longer latched onto the stresses of a uncomparable freedom, i am free.
i wanted the docks edges to shorten to my knees, i then spilled my legs into the weightless lake, instantly a sensation of cleanse and purity soothed my tension... i heard silence.
the marriage of sounds made by my feet as it reunited with the waters has healed me from all the worries of what was left behind.
all i have left is to breathe in the deep tones of life.
all i have left is to be welcomed and warmed by the breeze of cool airs.
all i have finally regained was the importance of something worthy.
all i am is into the wild.

fly away.

the walk to the end of the line.
it begins to pick up into a light jog, finally evolving to a sprint.
these quick, minor glances at the side ditches have me falling into a guilt state. the unjust punishment i feel inside has me consistently going back, back to that.
the thoughts and dwells of the past, and the future.
the biggest blinding circle i find myself going in is the one of confusion.
the rounding corners that force my foot to touch the ground pulls me downward into your pull, the pull you have on me, the impact you've made on me isn't easy.
the struggle of the pedals are gripping me to feel the fight, all of the intensities i burn into myself starts from the denials of what got me here, the spotting of the never ending truth.
a field of greys lay in front of me, i pedal back two cycles going to that place of day, you sitting upon the solid ground, the sounds of my voice directing the stance.
its captured.
forever...
the need for this line we have made is apart of me, attached to me, in me.
a disguised essential begins to ink permanence onto me.
let the night cycle on around us.
as we feel the ridges of the pavement on our backs.
may we reunite without a fuss.
to one day find our doubts a float... to the end of the shoreline.