no other way.

The infusion of the thick mud with the stream of stale rain water separates your will power as a human, to my weakness of selfishness.
the content stage I stood on made me solid at where I was at, I was on the hill while you were fighting the pill.
the force i felt when our eternal connection broke, took me into the spiral of fogged beliefs my though preconceived image of my ideal life, had you in it. YOU.
the denial of my invitation.. I understood, and I understand what you want.
this lost light of direction is blocked by doubt and reality, you supply me everything I needed to be better, you believe in me.
But I failed, i know i failed at you, not being able to return the gift i'm so grateful for.
I failed at delivering the words you deserve, but if what I wanted to say fell short of perfection I could not, and will not give them to you.
this is my loss. my grievance.
well I can give you this.. I know what i've lost, now that it's long gone...

here it goes.

wow.
lets get this all out.
i hate that you frustrate me.
you never let me just be in it. you rushed me.
expected me to be the same always. you left me there.. regretting ever move i made..