i miss the care.
i need the strength.

im lost,
wheres the brightside.

our body lies along the grid like road.

i can not help but look at the memories,
that are so vivid in feeling, because my chest begins to pound up and through to my eyes, as the tears bleed out.
i know, that the stones we laid out together, are real.
they were the best times, and i didn't even see it.
i can see the marks on my heart that peel back to a field of happy hi's, and gorgeous goodbye's .
but i will never be able to explain, how,
how we manage to get here.
somewhere, i never predicted. somewhere, i never thought existed.
reading the ink mark of words i have on my wall, of how we never will break, and of how i feel this rarity of relationship has evolved and sprouted to exciting heights.
i just sit and stare.
tracing back to the talks. to the moments of exact happiness. to the seconds that prove to be our last.
i can not even begin to fathom the thought of you just forgetting me.
cause tonight, i laid in bed. listening to all that brings me back to us.
and reading, seeing, watching.
the thread...
the chain.
of us.
and i see the arms of this connection, spreading.
please, retract back.
because i know i'm scared, to throw this away. and scared of the fact that you already have.
i dont want to feel lost, with you.
i want to smooth my hands across these coarse, rough sheets.
and let them blow with the wind, so that they are open to the eye of forgiveness.
cause i am sorry.
can we just sit, and spill our insides to the searing sun.
and clear the clouds that have fucked with our minds.
i just want to hear everything.
i want to feel bare.
... i can only have faith that there is that little speck inside of you.
that has the strength to hear me out.
and try to begin to repair,
the scattered dots, we think have flown and blown away.
so i take this knife, and slice through my built up shield,
cause that is what i need to do.
for you,
to see this does not have to run astray.
... please,
save a line.
for me.

down the river.

the passing of a night where all that is in the room is freedom instantly becomes unforgettable.
where the light is only placed upon those that are worth seeing.
i am put into this mood of complete surrealism, a point where i see myself arriving to,
all i want to do is just soak in all the carelessness yet controlled actions of a spark that is so spontaneously unexpected.
the flag of warning, can't help but be raised.
i need to find a path, out.
out of cautiousness, out of hesitance.
with every moment that presents itself, i need to just jump.
and not be afraid of the fall.
cause all that is left from my overrated contemplated thoughts is that you have already slipped,
slipped straight through my fingers.
but the constant showing of your unfamiliar surprises,
lets me down.
knowing the strength of this once tightly tied rope, has quickly frayed and ripped
directly down the middle.
we take steps back that uncontrollably exists within our feet.
with the split sides of rope remaining on the ground,
all we both can do,
is just stare...
cause neither one of us can find that person who once
cared.
so lets just spare, to know
that we both have changed, cause thats fair.
all that was there,
has i guess just gone into the air.
... but the memories that lay,
will never be too far away.