i lay in the parallels of two worlds.
and the one common thing that travels through the seams is that the grass will always grow and change, but once the final blow out of a childs mouth is used, the side paths to where i was heading will soon disappear.
the red choke of the grid magnifies into my sight, i see the pattern beginning to fall into play, its all to predictable.
all that is lacking consistence serves a splurge of persistence, the plays of scatter slashes onto the walls leaves marks of your permanence, i need something that will stay, stay as clay so i can trace out the lines of words with my fingertips along the coarse ridged surface, motion by motion its imprinting onto my skin the feeling of meaning.
i want to hear the sound of taps on a hollowed out surface... so i can close my eyes and be placed in the rounds of something steady.
i see the curve of growth, life, and reality.. but i fear the crumbles of this slate of ice... and all i can spot is the view of going downhill.
i tumble onto my back down the rocks, one skid after the other, im bruised with these marks of loss, the borders of the wounds leave me with the restriction to never regret, never regret the choices we are forced to make, the steady pulsation my mind is in leaves me staring blankly out into the uneven highs and lows of the mismatched treelines.
as i follow the seperation between the shades of palest blues to the blackest greens i am stopped by my knee high lengths of water at my legs and im forced under, under the tide...
after the battle of escape, im now confined to the surrender of change.. i've floated on, on and on down the choppy movement of the waves, the toll its taken, it releases my frustration and paranoia and turns them to helplessness.
im done.
take what you need from this rack of used affairs, cause all i feel inside is empty sorrows of distant wallows.
so grab the hands of something worth while, and imbrace it, dont ever lose the grip.. cause life is there to lather up the reins for slipage, all i ask is to sustain this state of fulfillment...
so don't you see?...
we just need to be left at sea.

no other way.

The infusion of the thick mud with the stream of stale rain water separates your will power as a human, to my weakness of selfishness.
the content stage I stood on made me solid at where I was at, I was on the hill while you were fighting the pill.
the force i felt when our eternal connection broke, took me into the spiral of fogged beliefs my though preconceived image of my ideal life, had you in it. YOU.
the denial of my invitation.. I understood, and I understand what you want.
this lost light of direction is blocked by doubt and reality, you supply me everything I needed to be better, you believe in me.
But I failed, i know i failed at you, not being able to return the gift i'm so grateful for.
I failed at delivering the words you deserve, but if what I wanted to say fell short of perfection I could not, and will not give them to you.
this is my loss. my grievance.
well I can give you this.. I know what i've lost, now that it's long gone...

here it goes.

wow.
lets get this all out.
i hate that you frustrate me.
you never let me just be in it. you rushed me.
expected me to be the same always. you left me there.. regretting ever move i made..

...

create a mural that spreads across my vision. that blasts the sounds of beating drums into my soul, let it pound at my eyes to seal them shut, the extended length of consistency brings light to the darkness, when the line of comfort is slashed with white dust that's filled with a bowl of careless means, the mind gradually shuts into a state of black paint. it blocks the works of life, the wheel of change, the row of growth. i am stuck.
lead me to the river, where the stream is fused with wildlife, bring me to the open land where the all is flattened into the dirt, show me the lens that brings me to the ground of our oblivious treasures.
the road that we are on takes us no where, where is the meaning, why is the fight we are sweating bring such disappointment to our lives.
start where the trees have grown, end where the wind has blown.
at this stand still of emotions, all i can do is fly my kite without a fright.

the shine to my steel.

The attempt to wipe the slate clean of stains scubbed out the fear in my world.
The chance to walk off the cliff into happiness has never been clearer. I stumble towards the opaque rocks in midst of blinding my path to temptation of the endless water, the odd shaped jumble of particles tugs at my inner light.
I caught the chain of change, the vast spectrum of colours that are introduced in such a unexpected way peel back my tinted harsh thoughts into the new world, the new age to my old.
Each section to my whole, is scatter across the rigid peaks and lows of life, the past is torched by memories, the present is graced with time and the future is left a open chance.. to try.
the pay off to my limb, has brought me to a new day, I once again will try and change whats been sealed and shipped.

claim thee.

My insides are what i have, what i have to deal with. The restricted love i have left to give, That you won't take, take and guard.
It's there, there for you to thrive on, latch on.
TAKE IT.
I wanna go, go till the sun and moon is one. But my thirst for the life and realities of the imagination of thought is never enough to match the height of your pedestal that you place yourself on.
With that force of never trying, you are the one i want, that single one.
That undeniable feeling of love, but that area of vast grey is what distinguishes me from you and you from THAT.
My heart has felt for you, since we've spoken. it's been pounding pounding at the doors of relationship. I've been straight up against, emerged into the steel in which the door is built upon. It has smacked me across my soul, piercing a straight line down the center.
The rawness of the wound has healed... Through your ways of slow inching latches onto the barks of my thick skin, it gave me the hope that there will be a to be continued.
I see the distant glow of my heart, it's progressing towards me. But why now?
My feeling of promise haunts every move you make. Scared?, scared but yet cant be true.
Your truth is to run, run away. Without warning that you'll return. I can't do it. Can't give myself, my whole self to someone who takes it and infects it with poison, as you smear it into the lifeless arrays of dirt.
You treat me like an assembly line, predictable and ordinary, when all i wanna be is that stone on a clear palette of glass, unreadable and meaningful.
I want to be that light, the shine in your eyes.
But i have to carve one thing in my mind...
and that is that you don't want me..

-p

Why the sky is blue.

From the moment your pale blue eyes spoke to my hollowed out mind the hook you've claimed was forever sunken into my skin.
The reel of honesty you have wound me up, slowly touches my focus to be followed into a time of experimental phases. All capturing the slightest specks of timeless love.
The fluxation of wants and gains tangled up the ropes of your frayed mind.
I'm sorry... I'm sorry, yet again.
The tremors of hope and sight in the future blinded the mirrors of you sacred soul, the sun reflected rays off of the inviting glass instantly shot through my cold, misleading shield.
A lost trail, confused at which was to turn, the turn of the course leads to a location of overflowing voids of hurt. As i turn to the sun for advice the heat sears, scars all of my skin into defeat and exhaustion. I realize time is as open as the doors the lightest layer of imagination, as essential as the trim on a window, it supports the existence of display.
Take my words and soak them into every dry sheet in your mind. Keep what is heard, discard what was done, cause all I've gained is this bond, this bond that has the strength to retain all meanings of the word friendship.

a type that defeats the fields that base pain.
a type where an ocean water can reflect its freedom into the atmosphere.
a type in which will never be broken, but only be excelled.

So please take and savour this in.. I will.
Spread this infectious dust up into our body and soul may it for eternity consume our thoughts.
Let it sore.
Just don't ask why.

-p