i can not help but look at the memories,that are so vivid in feeling, because my chest begins to pound up and through to my eyes, as the tears bleed out.
i know, that the stones we laid out together, are real.
they were the best times, and i didn't even see it.
i can see the marks on my heart that peel back to a field of happy hi's, and gorgeous goodbye's .
but i will never be able to explain, how,
how we manage to get here.
somewhere, i never predicted. somewhere, i never thought existed.
reading the ink mark of words i have on my wall, of how we never will break, and of how i feel this rarity of relationship has evolved and sprouted to exciting heights.
i just sit and stare.
tracing back to the talks. to the moments of exact happiness. to the seconds that prove to be our last.
i can not even begin to fathom the thought of you just forgetting me.
cause tonight, i laid in bed. listening to all that brings me back to us.
and reading, seeing, watching.
the thread...
the chain.
of us.
and i see the arms of this connection, spreading.
please, retract back.
because i know i'm scared, to throw this away. and scared of the fact that you already have.
i dont want to feel lost, with you.
i want to smooth my hands across these coarse, rough sheets.
and let them blow with the wind, so that they are open to the eye of forgiveness.
cause i am sorry.
can we just sit, and spill our insides to the searing sun.
and clear the clouds that have fucked with our minds.
i just want to hear everything.
i want to feel bare.
... i can only have faith that there is that little speck inside of you.
that has the strength to hear me out.
and try to begin to repair,
the scattered dots, we think have flown and blown away.
so i take this knife, and slice through my built up shield,
cause that is what i need to do.
for you,
to see this does not have to run astray.
... please,
save a line.
for me.
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