i need something.

please, make me feel i mean more to you than this... silence.
the trembles i get, as i hear the words.
the shaking of my hand as i go to brush the tears,
i am driven to the pits of pain, i lay in silence... and just let my heart beat. beat. beat.
as the bitter taste fills my mouth, it attacks my heart. the tip of the dagger, slits into the one place i know is left.
the racing of the thoughts picking at my brain covers my desire to go on.
with the freezing of the ground around me, there's so much underneath it, that i just want to expose. but second by second, i have to realize, it does not wait, it does not care for what i feel.
i will smash my soul into the solid stones on the floor, because it has up and left. away.
taken away.
the reality of something new, shedding across your sky...
brings me only to the roof,
as i lay my broken body along the rim of it, i drop my arm down the side... swaying it, saying, let all just fall, let all just fall...
there is no feeling left in me, as half of me has subsided over the edge, i look up at the stars.
the hope, that touches my eyes, sends the tears to release onto my face, uncontrollably flowing down.
i just close the lids of the pain, i feel.
opening all my limbs to the patterns of roof, that once was my safety, i just want to be able to breathe, to catch that last inhale of my one true happiness. i begin to feel the air in my chest, as my heart fills up.... the force of something else has stopped me... stopped all i can feel, and has tortured it to make me feel sour inside, the slow dripping of loss collapses me.
i can only fall, to escape this taste of being unwanted.
the place where i am burned,
where the unknown is my blood.
you've left me there.
the words i can only imagine to say to you, takes over my life.
so many wishes of wanting to just sit and say to you all i have for you.
but the harsh slaps across my face scar me, cause you don't want it.
you are in the light of someone else...
the ray of that truth, has killed every ounce of love i have saved for you.
i am forever stuck in this crack of regret.
i am sorry.
for the time you've wasted on me, but it has meant the world to me.
that your stars were able to shine on me.
if this is what you need, i will walk on, walk away.
for you.
i just want you to look out that window, that i once stared out of, and see...
all the talks.
all the hugs.
all the moments.
all the hopes.
all the trips.
all the plans.
all the kisses.
all the times...
and all the love.
all i think and feel when i see you is,
all the times you held my face in your hands... i knew i was loved...
or the times where we caught the light, of our love, in each others eyes and just blink to know what we feel is mutual... it was there, burning inside of us.
but the blocking of knowing that moment has gone into the past, knowing you have fell into the hands of another, blinding me all this time.
will forever hurt me.
seeing your faces across my life, unphased by the pain so tender, to you and i.
the one thing i thought would never come, you are doing.
i will leave you to your space.
but know not one minute of my day is not spent on you.
you have honestly broken me, because you can't even begin to care or speak to me.
and you have ran away, when i am still standing here, with all of me in my hands to give.
and in my eyes all i see is that i am waiting,
and you have long gone.
so i have nothing left, but to face the facts i see. because you have lead me to no other place, but here.
i will let you be.
i just need to know, what is left.
please grab the spark i left with you, on that paper,
it would kill me if we are so far gone that you couldn't read it.
all that you mean to me was poured into that.
if knowing that was the last time i could tell you how much you mean to me, i would never be able to stop.
but the black blanket, you have pained me to cover my heart with, blinds and fools me, into thinking you would be the one to show me how much you care for me.
because all that is currently clear in my mind is that our light was not bright enough for you, for you to continue on with.
i hate that you can't even bring yourself to me..
i cant help but think i don't even cross you mind, or your heart.
cause your all that stays inside of me.
if you are happy, let me go.
because i am in hell,
in hell of knowing what i had is being replaced.
... as i reach out to you,
unknowing if you will even take this..
or even were willing to explain anything to me, or if you have simply just moved on, and left me with this piercing heartache.
let me know.
because the actions you take, are eternally damaging my heart.
cut me off this rope, i have placed around my life.
cause till then, i will be there hanging... hanging...
forever, on.